Have you ever....

Have you ever sat back and watched someone you love suffer and be in so much pain they cannot get out of bed. Have you ever sat and begged Heavenly Father to take someone you love so much to take them from you so they could be out of pain and suffering. This is how it has been for me for the last couple of weeks. Just when you think he is doing better he falls further down. Why is he still alive and suffering? What does Heavenly Father have in store for him/us? It is very hard to keep the faith and think there is something some reason behind all of this. Will we ever know?
Tonight was a very hard night for the kids and I. Chris was so sick today and it hit the kids very hard. It was Sydney who started it all and all the other kids started to cry. I had a hard time calming them down. Sydney just sobbing saying "is dad going to die? will he ever be better? I hate to see him in so much pain?"
I try to stay strong but I get tired of being "so Strong" I want to give up sometimes. I feel weak at times and just don't think I can do it anymore. Of course after I start feeling that way I dig down deep inside myself and find the strength and keep going. That strength comes from only one place My Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I am glad he has helped me along this trying hard road.
I will keep going as long as I have to. I will keep finding that strength to carry on.