Have you ever....

Have you ever sat back and watched someone you love suffer and be in so much pain they cannot get out of bed. Have you ever sat and begged Heavenly Father to take someone you love so much to take them from you so they could be out of pain and suffering. This is how it has been for me for the last couple of weeks. Just when you think he is doing better he falls further down. Why is he still alive and suffering? What does Heavenly Father have in store for him/us? It is very hard to keep the faith and think there is something some reason behind all of this. Will we ever know?
Tonight was a very hard night for the kids and I. Chris was so sick today and it hit the kids very hard. It was Sydney who started it all and all the other kids started to cry. I had a hard time calming them down. Sydney just sobbing saying "is dad going to die? will he ever be better? I hate to see him in so much pain?"
I try to stay strong but I get tired of being "so Strong" I want to give up sometimes. I feel weak at times and just don't think I can do it anymore. Of course after I start feeling that way I dig down deep inside myself and find the strength and keep going. That strength comes from only one place My Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I am glad he has helped me along this trying hard road.
I will keep going as long as I have to. I will keep finding that strength to carry on.

Not so good at this

I am not so good at this blogging thing. I never have time and when I do have time I don't know what to say.

I do want to say thank you for anyone and everyone who has kept us in your prayers. We have had some good news/blessings in the last month. It has relieved alot of stress in mine and Chris's life. Chris is slowly feeling better. He was able to go to Sacrament with me a couple weekends ago. The ward members were so happy to see him even though he did not stay, we will take the little baby steps of his improvement.

Brother Olsen our neighbor has been a life saver this winter. Everytime it rained he was out in our driveway shoveling our walks and drive way. Thank you Brother Olsen for your kind service.



There are so many others in our ward I have to thank also. So many meals and treats have been brought to our home over the last several months. It is much appreciated and very thoughtful.



Chris and 4 of the Children were in a wreck a few days ago. They were in a rush to get to the Dentist. It was very scary. I got a call at work. The man on the other line introduced himself as Officer Casper. He proceeds to tell me my husband and children have been in an accident and he needed to come and get me from work to take me to where they were. I was in a panic. My heart dropped down to my toes. The worst things go through your head when you recieve a call like that.

I ran to the office told them I was leaving I grabbed my things and went outside to meet the officer.

Everything ended up being okay but they wanted me to drive the car just as a precaution. Chris's medications were affecting him differently.



I do have to say for once in the last 3 years of my life I feel like I have had a break and the blessing are being poored out to me. I have always known I was blessed and I saw the little blessings in my life but recently it has hit me very hard and strong.

I am very grateful to a loving father in heaven who will let me see and experince these things.



So moving on to the next blessings. A while back I had given some homemade hair bows and clippies to some girls that were have babies. Then Kyle who I work with came up to me and said my girlfriend would like to buy some of your bows you make will you bring them in. So I did and wow all the ladies went crazy. I made over $100 in a week. I only make the hairbows for neices and for gifts but now it has got me thinking maybe I could make some money off of this. It could not have come at a better time.
Then someone put a $20 in my locker with a note that said "just because"
If anyone knew how much we needed it. Wow!
This is how bad we need it. It was a tuesday evening I was on my way to work at 10:00 p.m. I knew I was out of gas but we did not even have $10 in our bank account. I was just hoping and praying i could make it to work and back. well when I got off of work at 6 am and was heading home in the freezing cold. I ran out of gas. Even if someone came to help me I had no money to buy gas to put in my car. I was debating on walking home. I called Chris and he said let me see if I can make some calls. He called his parents no answer. He called his cousin Jack. Well Jack came and saved the day. I did have to wait an hour for him to show so I was freezing.
Later that day when we went to the mailbox there was a check for $200 from Sonny. It could not have come on a better day. Yeah we can put gas in our car.
Then a few weeks later a check for $100 came in the mail from a dear friend of mine.
On the not it said. I woke up in the middle of the night and had a feeling you needed this. This feeling would not go away until I did something about it. I cried and cried when I recieved that.
Just so you know whoever is reading this and does not know Chris has been so sick and has not worked since September. Times have been very tough. These tender mercies from the lord and from all his faithful servants, are just what my family has needed. Thank you everyone for listening when the lord has prompted you and being his agents in answering prayers.
We will pay it forward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1